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Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Married or Single Is Nothing But A Status…The Question Is “ARE YOU HAPPY

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Married or single is nothing but a status…The question is “ARE YOU HAPPY?”…There is nothing like a happy marriage where marital bond of respect,trust grows stronger
and more resilient (I am a “proud” product of one”)…Some people are married because pressure from peer group, parents, societal norms, religious view and some are single because of scarcity of good and responsible men/women…On the other hand some are married by choice and some are single because they choose to be. The most important thing is being happy whether you are single, in relationship, marriage … “Are you happy?”.
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How do you measure happiness. Happiness varies from individual to individual…Happiness mean different things to people. Are you happy in your marriage? No one is perfect.Spouses are raised differently…They come from different backgrounds, their orientation and view about life and issues are different so they will always have their differences. One needs to be tolerant. But when the tolerance level has reached Zero, depression sets in, and it becomes unhealthy.. I look around and see people propping up sagging relationships and marriages. These people are in unhealthy relationships but they chose not to leave or “cannot leave”. Many people have given up their dreams, plans and future to fit into someone else’s own. What I detest most is physical abuse! Once your man can’t control his anger and you become his punching bag, boxing mate, please don’t think twice give him his space…Flee…
Many women are six feet deep because they chose not to flee..Most are scared of leaving because they are not secured financially (reason why one has to be financially independent), they are scared of divorce stigma and they are scared of being lonely. Nigerians especially love deceiving themselves. I think what contributes largely to this is because of the cultural norms and values and we are “over” religiously sentimental. It is only in Nigeria that you’ll see a woman being abused physically by her husband and family members and people around her would say,”Sorry, God is in control. Be patient”…”Ma foriti”…Huh..And these same people would hiss if she dies due to the process of this abuse and say “we didn’t know she married an animal. Why didn’t she get out of the marriage. She just killed herself for nothing”. This is to tell you that most Nigerian are hypocrites…So don’t think twice, weigh it and make a decision. Only you can determine the intrinsic value or merit of the relationship or marriage. People will always talk but remember you only know what you are going through…Moving out does not necessarily mean divorcing but just being on your own and “praying & fasting” (though i can’t do that! Lol…) for the Lord to take control…I commiserate with women out there going through physical molestation…Speak out and act fast. God help those who help themselves.

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